There are always so many reasons to procrastinate creating a post for my blog. Sometimes, I want to wait for the perfect moment of clarity and inspiration to spring upon me so I can convey a message straight from my soul, but in all honesty, those don't come very often.  Other times, I'm afraid to express what is really going on inside of my head because I fear judgement and ridicule from a reader who may not understand or appreciate my message. There are thousands of excuses to not create meaningful and heartfelt content, but tonight I have the faith to look beyond that fear and at least begin to create a new post. 

It's 10:17 PM on a Friday night. Ten or fifteen years ago, I would most likely have been out at a club drinking and dancing or spending the night in a strange bed strung out on one drug or another. This night, I'm more than content to be on my couch with my legs reclined, listening to beautiful classical music, and typing away with an intention to share my growing strength and hope with others. Sometimes it's hard to believe just how much my life has changed since my "party days". At one point, I couldn't even imagine being happy to do such a simple thing as spending a quiet night in my own little apartment with my dog nestled in his bed and feeling peace that I still don't quite understand. I was always chasing one extreme high or another, sometimes lucky to even make it to the next day, and participating in such dangerous and soul-killing acts. Sometimes I have to take a few seconds to thank God for sparing my life so that I could even arrive to this very beautiful moment I'm in now. It's important for each of us to spare those precious seconds each day to give thanks for where we are and what we are experiencing.

A while back, I had such a beautiful encounter with the night sky. The following is from a Facebook post I made about it:

I had to capture a pic of Desi and me 
in the sand. 🏜⭐

"The stars were calling to me, so I had to hike up on the hill, lie down in the sand and stare up into them. There are SO many! A wave of love and gratitude was washing over me, causing a couple tears to spill down my face, and at that exact moment, I saw a beautiful, bright shooting star flare across the sky! A couple minutes later, it was followed by another one, just as brilliant! I cannot help but profess my deeply felt gratitude for the beauty all around me and for God’s love."

To even be able to have those moments almost seems miraculous to me, and they are such precious gifts. For decades, I lived in such darkness that gifts such as these were impossible to receive, but not anymore because, lately, I have been tasting the goodness of God and it is sweeter than anything. I wouldn't trade it for all of the pleasures in this world! When I first started my journey of healing, I had no idea what I was in for. Roller coasters and rip tides have both been vehicles that have carried me through the challenges that come with piecing my life back together. But in the center of my fears and the chaos of the world, I'm beginning to sense a divine Source of peace. It's so hard to explain sometimes, but when I can connect to this Source, I feel so safe and secure, even with the whirlwinds of life blowing all around me. I sincerely hope and pray that all of you can find what I have found in the center of the storm, Someone who loves you beyond description and is ready to walk with you on the path of healing. I love you all, and God bless. 💗🙏