How Can I Know When I'm Doing My Best?

I don't know how many hours of the week I can spend wondering if I'm doing my best or how badly I've offended someone at work or a million other things. It's hard to feel at peace when I'm constantly wondering if I'm "up to par" as far as God is concerned. I spent about 2 1/2 years total being incarcerated, and during that time I was blessed enough to learn how to be still and have deep thoughts. When I am using, I'm afraid to have any sort of reflective thinking because this sort of thinking can lead to change and course corrections. Changing can be scary when you already feel like giving up after years of addiction and hardship, but often, change is necessary for us to grow and become the children our Father in Heaven would have us be. All those hours, days, weeks and months I spent behind bars gave me the amazing gift of being able to be okay with where I'm at in the present. Once I was really able to think about it, I realized that any time in my life I'm right where I need to be, and this can be such a comforting thought, especially during hard times. Wherever we are or whatever we are doing, we are meant to learn and grow from the circumstances that surround us.

Daily check-ins with ourselves can be very beneficial as long as we do it with much self love and guidance from the Spirit. It's important to ask ourselves questions that can help us produce sweeter fruits that come from working hard and applying ourselves in all aspects of our lives. Below are some questions that I often ask myself and some insights I have gained by pondering them frequently. My hopes are that you will gain knowledge and truth that will help you become the best version of yourself that you can be.

How can I know when I'm doing my best?

I often wonder throughout the day whether or not I'm really doing my best. Sometimes I feel like I get obsessed with this question. When I have a really bad day, I sometimes exclaim to myself, 'I need to do better! I need to be better!" It can become a cycle of shame and regret that could bring me right back to using. Although it's true that we can always do better, it's important to not constantly feel the pressure of needing to do so. When I'm having major doubts about how well I'm performing on any given day, I remember the two great commandments:

Matthew 22: 37-38: "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart,

and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and

great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy

neighbour as thyself."

Throughout the day I ask myself if I am loving God and others, and if I'm not, I will make an adjustment and do my best to follow these admonitions given to us by the Lord. If I can put Heavenly Father and others first and love them deeply and freely, I can have a better feeling at the end of the day that I truly did my best.

How can I know when I've been forgiven?

This is a hard one for me because I feel like I'm constantly sinning and always in need of forgiveness. Some of us may often wonder if we've been forgiven for major sins, like sexual transgressions. I feel that if it is a sin that I am constantly returning to, forgiveness is harder to obtain. The guilt I feel from committing the same sin over and over is necessary for me to feel in order to finally overcome it. Also, just because I haven't yet been forgiven of a sin doesn't mean the Lord loves me any less. His love is always perfect, and it's this knowledge that often keeps me moving forward towards forgiveness.

On The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saint's website, there is an article called "How Can I Receive Forgiveness From God?" A part of it states:

"Sin is a heavy burden that fills us with regret and sorrow. Repentance removes those feelings and replaces them with joy. Alma, a prophet in the Book of Mormon, described his happiness after repenting: “There can be nothing so exquisite and sweet as was my joy” (Alma 36:21). When we fully repent, we are forgiven and healed. We will feel peace, joy, freedom, and confidence."

As I repent of my sins and do my best to not commit them again, I begin to feel more joy. I am feeling that joy now, and it grows brighter as I refrain from returning to the same sins over and over again. I still have a long way to go, and I believe that repentance is needed daily, but as you ask for forgiveness with real intent and humility, you will feel God's love for you. He helps me everyday to do a litter better than I did the day before if I let Him. He can do this for all of His children!

How can I know when the Spirit is with me?

Everyone's journey of learning to feel and hear the Spirit is going to be different. I've mentioned how blessed I was to come unto Jesus during the time I spent being incarcerated. I spent a lot of time reflecting and pleading for Him to strengthen me. For so many hours and days on end, I prayed and read the Scriptures, and then I took the time to be still and listen. You don't have to spend years in jail to develop these good habits of reaching out to the Lord and reading His word, but it's so important to take the time each day to sit quietly and pay attention to the thoughts and feelings you are having. I'm beginning to recognize the difference between my own thoughts and those that come from the Spirit. When the Spirit communicates with me, I feel peace, confidence and joy. Heavenly Father uses simple language to speak with us with phrases like, "I love you", "Peace, be still", and "You can do this." Whenever those words enter my mind followed by a feeling of love, joy or peace, I believe that it is from Heavenly Father. Some people may ask "how do you know they are from God?" It's simple: I choose to believe they are. That's what faith is, choosing to believe. It's so important to recovery and our own spiritual health to take time each day praying and reading the Scriptures and words of the Church leaders and then taking the time to reach out to Heavenly Father and listen to what He has to say.

How can I know that God loves me?

First of all, I can testify that God loves all of His children perfectly, every single one of us. Just knowing that He loves me has seen me through some of the most difficult challenges in my life. There were times when I was ready to give up completely and wished I could leave this life, but God was merciful enough to remind me of His love, and I lived to see another day. His love wasn't something that I always recognized right away, and it took time to really understand how it felt. When I was using drugs heavily, I only felt it once in a while and it was fleeting. That doesn't mean that He ever stopped loving me, I just chose drugs over His love and care. Now that I am in recovery, I am feeling His love more often and deeply. Sometimes, when I am tuned into God's love, my chest burns, and I can't help but smile. Other times, I shed tears of gratitude for blessings that He has bestowed upon me. Not only does my soul react to His love, but my body does also. Tears and chills and "the burning within" are all ways that my body tells me I am feeling God's love. Happy and positive thoughts fill my mind, and I can't help but know that the love of God is shining down on me.

These are my experiences, and I really hope that they can help you navigate your journey of recovery. Please remember that you are never alone. Please reach out to me, Philip, at comeandrecover@gmail.com if you need support. Visit my Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/philip.mecham/ to get to know me a little better. Don't forget to hit "follow" on the main page of my blog and read more about me clicking on "Welcome to my blog!"

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My recovery has blessed me in so many ways, and one of them is being able to travel and spend time with family. Please enjoy some pictures below of my latest trip to Fresno to see my sister and her beautiful family.